


I'm So Sorry

by SansNSins (Angelistrations)



Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I just really love Habit, Oh and youre flower kid, Reader Insert, Smile For Me Game - Freeform, Smile for me - Freeform, Some sad questions left unanswered but thats okay, The man deserves so much more, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20412223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelistrations/pseuds/SansNSins
Summary: (A Boris Habit X Reader)You did it, congratulations. You helped every Habitician leave The Habitat. Everyone's happy and moving on to live their lives. The only person you have to talk to now is the big man himself: Boris Habit.





	I'm So Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY, so this is the first story I'm posting online in the last- maybe 4 years! This has been in my finished notes for the past week and with some convincing to myself and from some friends, I decided to post it since there isn't a lot of Habit X Readers! So, why not give back to the community, yeah?  
I'm usually only an artist, I don't write all that often! It may not be that amazing but it's something to keep you busy!  
But I *sincerely* hope you enjoy it!
> 
> And remember, keep on smiling!
> 
> =-)

"And if you're gonna make some people happy... ..how about you start with me." A defeated, low tone rang out in the small, echo-y room. I stared up at the much taller man, his tired, orange-tinted eyes staring back. Quietly, he piped up. Not loud enough to break the calm, just silent enough to be heard, ".......do you want to be my friend?" 

With a dry swallow wracking my throat, I nodded. Somehow, I felt something ring out in response, "I would... like... that." Dr. Habit's eyes slowly widened, reflecting the exact action my own were doing. A small gasp emitted from him, raising his sharp, green fingers to his mouth in slight awe, "You... can talk?" 

My immediate response was to turn away in shame, but a rushed quiet voice spoke out, "No, please! Look at me- and answer- you can talk? Have you always been able to talk?" Glancing back towards the doctor, I took note that his right foot stepped closer towards me, almost as if to reach out closer.

Thinking over my response, I didn't know which would be better. Nod or a shake of the head. Deciding on the latter, I started to shake my head towards him until he interrupted, "No! With your words, please! Please, just speak again- ``''I don't know." Habit is a man prone to rambling. It is better to give him what he wants straight away rather than stall. He may have been quite threatening about an hour ago, but he is a big softie. I still don't understand how a man like him has endured this much pain this long now when in reality he's just a suffering sweetheart.

The lanky man swallowed thickly, his Russian accent spilling over slightly more calmly, "This is so important, Flower Child,” his voice pitched lower, descending in volume ever so slightly, “why did you keep it away?" He started to sweat. From what? I couldn’t find a good enough answer. "Why... Is it so important?" I inquired, not wanting to speak anymore. Immediately becoming defensive, Habit shot out, "Because! I, uh- F-friends shouldn't keep things from each other! And uh, what if you have a real name I can call you by instead of "Flower Child"? And, hhrk, and- uh..." 

Pulling a hand forwards to signal him to stop, I offered him a small smile, "Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay? Especially when no one is listening. I promise I can meet you here later." This was only used as a ploy to get away. Not only did I hear someone near us, I just didn’t want to speak at this very moment. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, I reached my arms up to hug my sides. It almost appeared as if I was attempting to hug myself.

Knitting his brows together in a mix of relief and slight worry, he nodded, "Yes, yes okay... Wait, what do you mean by someone listening?" I pointed towards his closed automatic door that shows you the way out of his office, "Kamal is mumbling to himself, I can hear it. I'll sleep here for another night so it's easier to get to you. I'll see you later, Habit."

I turned around hastily and set off to walk to the main area, the automated door opening. As much of a good idea it was to talk to him, I needed time alone. As if on cue, a rushed, "Wait!" rang out in the middle of the quiet, small office.

I looked back, "Yeah?" And turned around to face him. With a small smile tugging on his slender face, he asked, "When this all blows over, do you, maybe, want to get a “coffee ``? Or something like that- to eat?" His long fingers laced through each other, his hands wringing against one another. He almost seemed nervous.

With a smile back in return, I nodded like I usually did when answering the Habiticians. He called out quietly, once more, "When you're out of here, for good, make them all happy- make them all smile. For me?" A more genuine smile stretched across my face, my chest immediately feeling lighter. I shook my head up and down lightly. Blue sparks and shines burst from Dr. Habit, a warm smile radiating off of him. For once, he seemed completely unburdened. For once, he was happy.

"Thank you."

\-----------------------------------

As I walked out, I noticed Habit attempted to look over my head. I'm quite smaller than him so it wasn't necessarily hard. While walking forward, I noticed Kamal. His eyes were widening as he was staring behind me. I guess this can be considered them meeting up again after all this time. Before either of them could say a word to each other, the doors shut immediately.

"Uh... What the heck happened in there? I'll admit, I did eavesdrop here and there, but I'm still confused." Kamal jogged towards me since I fully ignored him at first, my intentions only being to get to the elevator. I needed to think about a few things. Instead of a verbal response, I just shrugged my shoulders and went to step in. Soon enough, I felt a tight tug on my upper arms, the hold slowly subsiding into an incredibly soft grip, "You alright?" I nodded. "Habit alright?" I nodded once more. "...Good... I only really heard the end. I won't ask anything but this, but are you really gonna stay another night? The gate is open, we can go home. We don’t have to be here anymore."

I looked away from Kamal, thinking it over. Since I've been here... I don't remember if I have a home out there or not. Deciding to not reply, I stepped inside the elevator and hit the button quickly. Kamal tried to stop me but was too slow. I only saw his worried expression as the doors closed. Making a mental note to do something for him later on as an apology, I descended back towards the cave area to prepare to stay another night at The Habitat.

\--------------------

Ever since my first true meeting with Habit, he had left the tunnel open to get to him. It has been a few days since I last saw him, the day he finally became happy. It was selfish of me, I'll be the first to admit. I've been busying myself with trying to remember life before The Habitat. The more I press on it, the more it felt like my head was being forced into a high-speed tornado of thoughts. At this point, I've made a list on the wall of all the things I remember before coming here. Cowboy Bed even attempted to talk to me a few times while I scribbled on the wall. “Hey pardner, don’t you think that wall’s had enough?”, “You look awfully tired. Why not put down that marker and climb on into my covers? I’ll keep ya warm all night.”, “You know- You’re kinda worrying me. I may not be able to do things most of ya can do, but I can tell when someone needs a break. Maybe you should take a lie down?” As bad as it felt to ignore him, I just couldn’t bear the idea of speaking with anyone.

Still, I continue to write on the wall. My black marker is slowly, but surely, drying out. Loud squeaking emitted from my room as the felt tip dragged across the walls. I tried to remember, but nothing ever spoke out to me. The one thing that tortured my mind the most was the one thing I had written in big, bold letters above it all, "WHAT IS MY NAME?" What kind of person doesn't remember their own name? I don't remember delivering flowers to the people here, I don't even remember being a florist, and I certainly don't even remember meeting anybody before coming here. Yet, it seems like a lot of the Habiticians remembered me from before this incident. Tiff told me she sang at a birthday party once. Mirphy said I once delivered her some ‘begonias’. Yet, I just can’t seem to remember them from before The Habitat.

I took a look down at my own hands, both covered by dirtied brown work gloves that Borbra had given me prior when I helped her find a y’owl. Taking them off slowly, I grabbed a string off of the ground and tied the gloves onto a loop of my pants as to not lose them. 

My hands, they look older than what I am. I don't remember my age, but I know I'm quite young. Hence why everyone calls me, "kid". I'm not an actual kid, per se, but I am most likely in my 20's. As I came back to my senses as I stared down at my calloused and muddied hands, I tried to remember if there were any restroom utilities here.

There is the small puddle-pond right before the carnival entrance and there is a sink in the lounge. Got it. Turning towards my door, I slowly opened it. There may not be anyone here, but it's so quiet that it feels as if I shouldn't disturb the peace. Habit may still be here, he is most likely cooped up in his office. I shut the door as quietly as possible and started jogging my way down the steps. It's so much more quiet, not seeing any Habiticians here. By now, I would've run into Nat, Dallas, and Randy. Since I helped everyone become happy again, they all left without a word before the official Big Day. I still don't understand why no one tried to help me out of here too, but I did have a mission I was on so it was understandable. 

Coming across the pond, I was about to make my way into the lounge until I realized the yellow metal door was locked securely. Okay, guess I'm washing my hands in a puddle. Marv would always fish in this small hole filled with water. Wallus told me that he didn't know why Marv was convinced that he would be able to catch some. But sure enough Marv proved him wrong the day he caught a decently sized fish right in front of me, him dedicating his catch to me since I helped him obtain it.

I got down onto my knees and dove my hands straight into the small area of water. Somehow, it was crystal clear. The water turned a bit cloudy as I continued to run it through my hands, them becoming more clear to see underneath all of the dirt and grime. Scooping water together with my hands, I threw it into my face. Water sopped into my shirt as a response, but it definitely woke me up. Waving my hands wildly in the air to dry them off somewhat, I dug into my bouquet and pulled out my stopwatch. Going off of the small clock in my pocket, it was just about to be noon.

Pushing myself from the dirt that had also coated the knees of my pants, I looked around. Rondo, Millie, Marv, Trencil- they used to all be here but they all left. I hope Trencil and Nat are doing better. Poor guy only wanted his daughter's love to be happy. I hope to see them all again someday. I hope Ronbo is doing good too. Maybe he’s found a job at a local circus since he only wants to make people happy… Millie’s probably wacking him in the head with more golfballs. It'd be great to catch up with all of them again someday.

While still looking around, my eyes caught the camera screen that was still recording. The photograph of Wallus I had taken stood out since it was stuck right over the lens. Having an idea pop, I jogged up to it. Looking around it, it was still definitely recording in real-time. Right next to the lens, a bright red light flashed consecutively. I jumped up and quickly snatched the photograph. Turning on my heel, I took a few steps back, not breaking eye contact with the recorder. Slowly stepping back to be sure I didn’t fall, I brought my hand up towards my face. Moving my fingers into a phone-like shape, I brought it towards my ear and mouthed the words, "Call me." 

Habit had to have been watching from the other side in monitor form to keep watch of Gillis, I'm positive he's been on his computer this entire time.

\-----------------------

(HABIT P.O.V.)

I paced back and forth in my office, constantly switching between thinking and looking at my walls riddled with questioning drawings. Ever since Flower Child helped me, I took notice of how hurt I was. Illustrations of me crying and frowning plagued my office. I just wanted everyone to be happy. It was almost shocking to think that one mere kid could help me turn my life around for the better. They truly did remind me of myself. I've been searching many websites for the last few days. Open work for florists, volunteer work, a number of things. 

In the corner of my eye, however, I saw something moving. Turning in my chair to look over, it had been from my wall of monitors that kept track of everything going on right below me. I saw a figure running throughout the area, I lost sight of them as soon as they got to the entrance. I could only assume it was Flower Child. 

I hadn't seen them since they visited me for the first time. I've been awfully worried about my only friend. For the past two mornings, we haven't seen each other, I've been making more PSA's for them to wake up to. All of them consisted of praise towards them, what will happen in the future, and what to do to help yourself be happier. Ever since they helped me, my skin almost had a certain glow. It's as if small blue stars shoot off my skin and disappear into nothingness when I make contact with something. It only seemed right to help them wake up to something happy too.

I feel so much more relaxed now, so much happier. Though, with every passing hour, I still feel as if things are left unsaid and unresolved. A twinge of guilt fell onto my shoulders. It only got heavier the more I waited. Glancing back toward my monitors, I noticed that a single screen got darker as if someone set their hand on top of it. Then a blinding flash of sudden daylight broke out through the screen.

Flower Child.

They took off the blank photograph that originally hid the view and took a few steps back. I noticed a hint of a smile stretching across their face ever so slightly as they lifted a hand, almost to mimic a phone, and mouthed, "Call me." As soon as they got their message across, they ran back towards the stairway, presumably up to their room.

I couldn't help but grin a little. They always brought a certain light wherever they went, no matter the person. But if they want me to call them, then I am in no position to refuse. I shall do what they want.

\--------------------------------

(NORMAL P.O.V.)

I quickly got my way up the stairs, nearly tripping on a few. Once I was fully ascended, I stood up slightly straighter and walked into my assigned room. "Howdy, partner. It's a little too early to sleep, isn't it?" My cowboy bed called after me. I just nodded and sat down on the end of him. I low grunt of affirmation came from him as he went silent, as did I. 

Scooting forward, I kept my focus on the tv. If Habit still has those cameras up and rolling, then that must mean he has the monitors up as well. If it worked, I should be getting a PSA soon. In a flash, the tv blue screened from its usual flowery background into a scene with the little Habit puppet. He stared at the screen for a while before asking, "...Is it On?"

The puppet stared forward for a little bit until a "=-D" appeared on screen and the Habit puppet did the same expression back. Those little happy faces are always the best. "Its come 2 my atention that someone wants 2 Talk! My door is Alwayss Open! =-D" The hastily written words flashed across the screen. Some typos as usual but I wouldn't expect anything less. Though there seemed to be more than usual. Silence. Another "=-D" And he did the face again. 

"Hope too see yu Sooon!" Then the screen flashed once more until the flower background appeared once more, it showing simple hints back and forth. Underneath me, the deep humming of a tune came from Cowboy Bed. He seemed to be humming along to a song he came up with on the spot. Thinking about what the small Habit puppet said, I pushed myself up from the bed. That's all the reassurance I need, I gotta go see Habit again.

\---------------------

(HABIT P.O.V.)

Slowly pushing the button that ends the broadcast, I grabbed my puppet off of my hand and set it down on the nearest table. I sure do love filming these but I don't think I could ever show myself as.... myself..? I do hope they've seen it, I'm sure they have since they wanted me to contact them. I picked up my puppet once more to set him in his correct place as I got back into my chair. Sitting back down, I spun towards my monitor which still flashed, it containing pages of job listings. Pulling myself up to my desk, I continued my online research.

\--------------------

(NORMAL P.O.V.)

Grabbing anything I need, which just consisted of my gloves and a few extra items, I pushed open my door. Once more, I quickly ran down the stairs just barely avoiding falling. Instead of staying in the main area this time, I walk past it to go to Habit's tunnel entrance. Slipping by the metal door, I jogged my way through the twists and turns of the tunnel. Pipes wrapped their way all across the area as I went along, sometimes bending back into the wall or just cutting off completely. The more I walked, the more the big room came into view, a sad, bleeding, Habit was drawn messily across the floor. It hurts to look at, this goofy lug is just suffering so much because of his past.

While in mid-thought, the elevator doors dinged loudly to announce its arrival. Turning my attention towards it and not the drawing, I jumped on and hit the button that takes me to the highest floor. Habit's office. The doors 'swished' close, gears clicking together as I started to go up. The small light in the elevator danced left and right from the sudden movement. The small moving room had a buzzing vrrr as I continued going up, my heart lurching from the shift in levels. As the elevator slowed to a stop, a tiny ding sounded once more and the doors opened. 

Back in his waiting room. Chairs were strewn about, here and there. It doesn't seem like he has messed with this area since the last time I visited him. Ignoring my surroundings, I walked up to the door and lifted my fist to knock. Forgetting the door was automatic, it whooshed open as I stood there with my hand still up. Quickly taking my hand back down to my side in embarrassment, I noticed that Habit was in front of me. He was sitting at his desk on his computer, staring intensely at it. His hair poofed against the chair in which he sat, the reddish-brown tone being the main thing I saw of him. 

Realizing that he didn't know I was here already, I walked towards him. I stood right beside him as he continued to read an article. It appeared to be listings for jobs involving flowers. This probably meant he wanted to resign as a dentist and become what he always wanted to be. A florist. I bent down towards him, face parallel to his own, and started reading the article too. 

Apparently, there were a few flower shops open and wanting new employees. I could see Habit making bouquets, he'd love it too. He’d probably be a wiz at knowing the meanings of all flowers. I smiled at him, facing myself more towards him. Sticking out a finger, I brought it slowly up to him and lightly poked his cheek. In a flurry, Habit jumped backward in his seat and held up his hands, shielding himself. His eyes were forced shut as tightly as they could go as if he was afraid he was about to get punched. Laughing a small bit, I reached up and placed my hands into his much bigger ones, slowly bringing them down from his face. A small moment of quiet held us both until I saw his face release some tension. Slowly, he opened one of his eyes to stare at his "attacker". His long eyelashes fluttered open, revealing such bright, sharp, orange eyes. 

Instead of seeing someone he was afraid of, he saw me. His face erupted into a light, desaturated green blush as he pushed himself back forward in his seat. Habit’s face looked immensely awkward as he stuttered over his words, "I'm sorry, friend! I... I didn't realize it was you! How... How are you?" His face stretched into a forced smile, tooth gaps making themselves known. Now that I see what a normal smile from him is like, I almost want to see it all the time. A smile on him is so much better than any other expression he could muster. Though, at the moment he appeared to be embarrassed from his actions.

"I'm fine. I came to talk." I muttered out. His eyebrows shot up as he made a noise of confirmation, his deep baritone ringing out. His voice never really suited first impressions but it also weirdly works for him? It's hard to explain. I felt a grip tighten on my hands. I looked down and realized that both of our hands were still intertwined. Excusing myself, I slowly took my hands from his own. His eyes widened ever so slightly as he apologized back. Still, quietness swept the room as we both didn't know what to say. I noticed Habit opening his mouth to say something multiple times, only to close it shortly after. With a curt sigh, I cocked my head and asked, "What did we have to talk about?"

Being broken out of his trance, he looked up at me from his position in his chair. "Oh! We need to talk about the subject of you being able to talk! We can come up with more topics throughout this one." He folded his hands onto his lap and attempted to stand up straighter. I nodded and went to walk back out of his automatic door that leads out to the waiting lobby. I heard him make a noise of surprise, quickly asking me if I wanted to leave. I didn't respond and just walked out. Habit immediately felt as if he had said something wrong, trying to think of what he said. He didn't notice when I came back into the room with one of the orange chairs from the waiting room. I set it down right in front of him when he finally took notice, "There was only one chair in here. I got another."

Habit smiled at me and nodded, a hum of understanding. I circled the chair and sat down, almost exactly mirroring his pose. I stared up at him, since he was quite tall, waiting for the conversation to start. He did the same, almost waiting for me to start first. Knitting my brows together, I asked, "Are there any questions you want to ask me, then?" Realization immediately clicked on his mind, an, "Oh! Right!" As he got ready to ask, "How long have you been able to talk?"

"All this time, actually. I just don't prefer to talk that much when it comes to people I barely know." He nodded, a few strands of his poofy hair falling in front of his long face. "Why did you decide to talk to me?" For this one, I did not have a quick response. I stared up at him attempting to think of a good answer. Taking extra care to think more about this question, I responded, "I don't know. At the time, it felt like it was the smartest thing to do." Habit tried to think of another question only to frown. With a devastating sigh, he looked at me in a way he never has before, "Is your mouth okay…? I must've hurt you so much." 

I just stared at him in response. The pain I felt when I was sitting in his patient's chair was unlike anything I've ever felt. My head still pounds as my gums do ache. I didn't want to outright tell him, so I just stared. He seemed fine with my lack of an answer. Or, more of, understanding of my silence. Habit, instead of looking at me, gazed as his sharp hands. He fiddled them together, showing signs of anxiety. "I… I can get you some artificial teeth to replace the ones… The ones I took out. I'm so very sorry." He turned his chair around and grabbed a small notebook, scribbling down something just to set it back in its place. I could only assume it was a reminder to search for teeth.

“I should’ve known. I really do apologize. You probably really don’t like me because of what I did. I feel horrible for it” He continued to not look at me. I followed his gaze to which was directed at his computer. An animated website was shown, flowers dancing all over the page as it announced florist positions. Trying to think of something to say, I blurted, "Habit. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're better now." I tried to reason. In a flurry, he turned towards me and held up a hand, quickly butting in, "But that doesn't excuse my actions. I still have to deal with the consequences of them... right?" He isn't wrong but it still hurt to see how upset with himself he was. Habit seemed to be deep in thought with my lack of a response. Finding comfort in twiddling with the loose strings of my gloves, I dared to not look at him. He paused before asking quietly, "What are you going to do now?"

That was the one question I didn't want to hear today. What did I want to do now? "You don't have to answer just yet! It's okay, friend!" Habit called out, seemingly sensing my hesitation. I clasped my hands together, staring at the tiles of the room. Deciding to count them instead of acknowledging his question. We both sat there in silence once more. I could feel his gaze burn the top of my head as I didn’t look away from the floor. I swear I almost felt silent pleading from Habit, he wanted an answer. Feeling his presence lean closer towards me, he asked, just barely over a whisper, “Flower Child…?”

I raised my head upwards to meet my eyes with his. Yet again, tired orange eyes stared back into my own. A small frown dared to tug as his mouth, Habit giving me a troubled expression. Inhaling heavily, I breathed out, "I hate to not have an answer but I honestly don't know. I don't remember life before The Habitat. I don't really know if I have something to do back at home. Or where home even is. I’ve been asking myself this for so long now. But, I don’t have an answer." 

If hearts could legitimately shatter, Habit's would've at this moment. His face held the saddest expression I've ever seen him wear. "Oh no. This is my fault, isn't it? I shouldn't have kept you here-" His head fell into his hands, hiding from me. Mumbling a lot of, “I’m sorry”s under his breath, his hair fell in front of his face. The poofy mess almost acted like a shield, hiding him even more from view. Freaking out, I called out to him. Though, he didn’t answer. He just continued to give apologies from his obscured spot. I got up quietly to not disturb him and walked closer. I leaned downwards to be level with him and placed a hand onto his hair. Surprisingly, it felt very soft but it remained to be extremely tangled due to the big curls. I brought my opposite hand upwards to his hair and slowly pushed it back out of his face.

“Habit? Habit, can you hear me?” I called out once more. It appeared to be futile as he didn’t halt his onslaught of remorseful slurs. Grabbing onto his shoulders lightly, I attempted to shake him and call out again. It only caused him to dig deeper into his hands to try and hide away even more. My chest got stabbed with a piercing pain as I watched him crumble before my eyes. Not able to find any words to stop him, I did the only thing that came to mind. My arms wrapped around his neck, burying my head into his enormous cloud of tangled hair. A deep, sharp inhale came out of Habit, him being taken aback from shock. His body tensed up horribly as a small prickle of tears jotted at his eyes. Silently giving in, I felt his much longer arms wrap around my back. One rested on my lower back as the other settled onto my shoulder. I was pulled ever so slightly closer, him resting his head onto my shoulder, holding on tighter. Quiet grief washed over us both as we embraced. 

Habit dug his head a bit more into my neck as he whispered, his hot breath tracing against my skin, “I’m so sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave any comments! Please, no negativity- The Smile For Me fandom should only be happy vibes! I don't know if I'm gonna write all the time, but I may do it every once in a while! There's a slight chance I can take requests, maybe more of a chance than I realize but yeah!
> 
> Until next time!


End file.
